The Take Away

What: I have learned a great deal about myself and the personal attributes that make up my leadership abilities through the course of this class. Many of the things we learned were strengths (such as emotional intelligence, values, socializing, etc) I had not previously associated with leadership qualities. Rather, they were simply parts of my personality that made up the whole of who I am. However, I understand now that these functions contribute to my overall leadership and how I interact with others.

So What: In a society that is becoming more and more dependent on technology and virtual networking, interpersonal skills will become a greater asset to future leaders. Those who possess the ability to connect with people, to influence them positively, and to inspire others will rise to the top of any organization they become a part of. However, it is important to stop and take a personal inventory from time to time to remind yourself of your ‘True North’ and make sure you are staying true to yourself.

Now What: As a perfectionist, I strive to be the best in every arena I enter. I have found that this is feature becomes a strength and a weakness. However, one of the key things I learned in this class is that there is no such thing as “the perfect leader.” Each person possesses different qualities and strengths that they can utilize to be a leader.

My key take away is that I need to focus on strengths based leadership rather than focusing on my weaknesses. When I received the results of the Gallup Strengths Finders test I immediately wanted to know what my weaknesses were. Dr. Pracht stated in his lecture that if we had received those results, many of us would have focused on those instead of building on the strengths we do have. That concept was a huge wake up call for me! I realize that I need to apply this concept in every aspect of my life. I have contemplated this since we took that test and have come up with the following action steps to continue this strategy:

Understand What's Important to Me – Self-knowledge is one common goal that will help me achieve personal success. So many people are hung up on somebody else's idea of what it means to be successful, and they are unaware of what is truly important to them. This is why it is so important to find your own ‘True North. ’We all have important role models and influencers in our lives who may have basic values that are quite different from our own. If this is the case, it's important to recognize that the discrepancy between what we have been taught is truly important and what we personally believe to be truly important is due to a difference in perspective. If we spend our time and effort trying to meet somebody else's idea of success, and ignore or belittle any conflicting messages from our own psyche, then we will find ourselves exhausted and unhappy. Realizing what is truly important to us is a major step towards achieving personal success.

Strive for Balance – Balance is about how you live your life and manage your relationships, both personally and professionally, how in touch you are with your values and how you are walking the talk. When your life or business is out of balance, nothing feels right. Finding the right balance in your body, your mind, your life and your business will help you clarify your goals and propel you toward them. Finding this balance will always give you the ability to find your center. When life and work are balanced (when you are centered) you act from a position of strength, judgment and sensitivity — and you can withstand challenges and setbacks without being sent off course. When you find your center, you have confidence: leadership naturally evolves.

Moving Up to the Pros

What: The author of ‘When the Little Things Count…and They Always Count’ Barbara Pachter says, “How you handle yourself at a business-related social function matters. Your potential employers, customers or upper management…are often looking for self-assurance [and] social finesse. [Because] if you can’t handle the little things at lunch or dinner, why should anyone think you could handle the big things, like the big account or bigger job?”

So What: As we learned in our class presentation, in our reading and in practice at our professionalism party, the seemingly little things demonstrate our ability to communicate and interact with others on a professional level regardless of our position or occupation. Possessing the ability to interact with confidence can determine whether you stay in your current position or move up to the ‘Pros’ in the corporate world.

The positions of leadership that I have held through the years have taught me many invaluable lessons about socializing professionally. While I was once a shy and quiet child who would slink into a corner when around a crowd of people, I have learned how to interact in a crowd of friends and/or professionals. Navigating positions ranging from the corporate world to youth ministry put me in a variety of situations to practice and improve my new found abilities. I have developed a sense of confidence and increasing professionalism in moving socializing with executives of major corporations as well as fellow youth workers.

The area that I need to continue to improve on is not feeling too comfortable with my colleagues and maintaining the atmosphere of professionalism. When I am uncomfortable I use humor to break the ice with others. While this is usually very effective I feel it can also change the feeling of the occasion from being an occasion with colleagues to an occasion with friends. When this atmosphere changes, or seems to change, I tend to relax how I carry myself and interact.

Now What: The lessons we learned about socializing professionally have provided us with skills that can move us from good to great in any field we pursue. Every field requires us to interact with colleagues and/or clients at some time in our career. Additionally, the higher you move up the corporate ladder, the more important these skills become. However, if you do not employ them at the beginning of your career it may take longer to move up that ladder.

In a sea of sameness, something has got to stand out and when you do the little things, you WILL stand out. Imagine being invited to lunch a potential employer for a final interview. You get the job, you learn more valuable skills, you get promoted, and you eventually land the job of your dreams – all traced back to that one little thing.

Openness

What: According to the NEO Personality Inventory Professional Manual, “openness involves active imagination, aesthetic sensitivity, attentiveness to inner feelings, preference for variety, and intellectual curiosity.” While this definition covers a variety of different traits I feel that it is appropriate to view openness through each of these lenses. I have always perceived myself as someone who was open to new ideas, concepts and particularly new people and cultures. Recently, I lead a spiritual retreat weekend in the Bahamas which forced me to evaluate how open I am in many ways. I began this process in April, when I was selected to lead a team of 30 women from across the US as well as from the Bahamas to put on this retreat in Nassau. During this time, I encountered many people from various cultures around the US and the Bahamas. As the leader, my job was to bring this group together harmoniously in order to achieve the purpose we were traveling to Nassau for, to put on a retreat for 20 Bahamian women.

As we arrived in Nassau, the first thing we had to adjust to was “aesthetic sensitivity.” In the US, Caucasians are the dominant race in most areas of the country. Also, most of the women who traveled as part of the team, including myself, are Caucasian. However, in the Bahamas, we quickly became the minority. As such, we had to be sensitive to the aesthetics of races and focus more on “being attentive to inner feelings” as was the purpose for the weekend. This group of women had no problem making this transition. As the women who would attend the weekend began to arrive on Thursday evening, they were initially hesitant to open up to these strangers who came in to “show them how to strengthen their faith.” However, by the time the weekend was over, we were all lovingly embracing and wishing we had more time to spend getting to know each other and to simply enjoy our time together.

So What: While I only highlighted the areas of aesthetic sensitivity and attentiveness to inner feelings, each of the traits above were tested for me as I realized the lens of humanity that I have always looked through. I grew up in a rural town on the outskirts of Jacksonville, FL where most everyone looked the same, believed the same, and behaved the same. This experience opened my eye to the world of differences that are out in the world, and I LOVE IT! I was enthralled by the difference in the way these women processed information, the exuberance they showed in their worship, and the sensitivity and hospitality they showed to myself and the others whom they had just met. If the world operated as we all did on this weekend, it would be a much more peaceful place. As cultures collided, they were met with openness and honesty and a mutual understanding of respect and acceptance.

Now What: I have learned so much about myself and about the changes I need to make in my life as a result of this experience. In leadership, I know that I will encounter people from all different races, ages, backgrounds, etc. and I will need to be open to the beauty in our differences. As we discussed in class, it is easy to be surrounded in the Board room with people who think alike but in that scenario where does growth happen? This experience showed me how much I can learn from those around me if I will just take the time to stop and open my eyes, my ears and my heart. I have always “known” this to be true but I suppose in the routine of life have simply missed the boat somewhere along the way while living comfortably in my homogenous world.

The relationships I developed during this trip are ones that will endure for many years to come. I look forward to learning more about these women, their lives, and how they operate. I know that this experience has changed my outlook on my own life as I evaluate my next steps outside of UF. I was moved to tears as I surveyed the room at our closing service and observed barrage of women who had become a melting pot of love and acceptance. I hope to mirror this in my leadership roles in the future.

Blog 2: Character vs. Cut-Throat

What: From September 2003 – December 2008 I worked for a real estate developer who also served as a city councilman in Jacksonville, FL. In the middle of June of 2008, when the real estate market was in a downward spiral, the financial partner for our company met with my boss and very flatly told him that he no longer wanted to invest in real estate development and wanted to close the company by the end of the month. My boss explained that the company had several partnerships that would need to be dissolved as well as several assets that would need to be liquidated. The financial partner agreed that these things needed to be resolved and that my boss was the best to oversee the process. His solution for saving money was to fire me and take the rest of the year to finalize the above mentioned transactions. My boss told him this was not an option as I was a very integral part of the company and invaluable to him as an employee. In order to allow me to keep my job, he took a $50,000 pay cut to supplement my salary until the company closed its doors December 31st.

So What: Prior to this incident, I had already developed a great deal of respect for my boss and learned a tremendous amount about character and integrity by watching him operate in 2 very corrupt fields, real estate and politics. His motto was that every situation had to be a win-win for all involved or it was not worth it. By that he meant that it was not about the bottom-line or how much profit could be gained from a project. The thing that was important to him was to look at the big picture and find the solution that was beneficial to all involved.

By observing this man in action for 5 years, I learned infinitely more than I could ever learn from a text book about how to operate in business and how to be a successful leader. He was not perfect, and yes he did make mistakes. However, when he recognized that he had made a mistake or when someone confronted him with a situation, he was the first to take a hard look at his actions, correct his mistakes and move forward with his head held high. Not once did I see him point the finger of blame at someone else or tear someone else down to build himself up. I can honestly say there is not one person that I have come across who knows him that has anything bad to say about him.

Now What: During my employment at this company I watched 2 successful businessmen in action. The financial partner, a man who inherited a great deal of wealth from his family, failed to see the value of his employees and focused only on the bottom dollar. As a result of his cut-throat tactics he had employees who were very unhappy and not loyal to him or the company. The other was a man of humble beginnings; he built his success and earned the respect and loyalty of those around him by consistently displaying character and ethics in all of his business dealings. He had employees, including myself, who respected him, valued his opinions and worked very hard to further the company and continue to build his success.
Both of them made a decision that directly affected my life. One of them showed me that the value of a person is infinitely greater than saving a few dollars at the end of the day. If my boss had not been a man of such character, I would have undoubtedly been fired in June and in a place of financial insecurity. However, because of his loyalty and sacrifice, I was given time to collect my thoughts, and redirect the path for my life. The new path brought me here to UF and to the pursuit of my life goals in youth counseling.

My ex-boss, and his family, are still very dear to me and will undoubtedly be a part of my life for many years to come. There have been many times in the past year that I have called/emailed or simply stopped by to get his insight on decisions I am facing. The lessons he taught me about character, integrity and the value of others will carry forward with me as I continue to develop my business. I know that I am a better person having known him. To quote a song from the play Wicked, “Because I knew [him] I have been changed for good.” I will definitely “pay forward” the lessons he taught me.

Blog 1: Personalities Clash

As an ENTJ, I am categorized as a natural born leader. I am driven by identifying challenges and looking for solutions that are beneficial for the long-range success of an organization. I am extrovert and as such, love interacting with people. This appreciation of others, coupled with self-confidence and good communication skills, makes it easy for people to follow me.

What: In February 2006, I was seated as Vice-President of an organization that leads youth leadership retreats in Northeast Florida. The youngest person on the board by at least 10 years, I was elected to this position based on my vast experience within the organization and the leadership skills that other members of the board saw in me. I had been in this role for 1 year and was poised to resume the role of President the following year. However, the President of the board came to me, rather unexpectedly, and presented me with a 3-page list of infractions that he felt I had committed. According to him, my shortcomings included errors in leading specific events, the integrity of my relationships with the youth involved in the organization, and ultimately that he did not feel I was suited to run the organization the following year. His recommendation was that I resign from the board, take a year off to distance myself from the youth and then my future with the organization could be reevaluated.

Needless to say, I was blown away by this confrontation as none of these issues had been brought to my attention in our time on the board. I felt like this was a personal attack fueled by jealousy rather than a valid presentation of concern for the future of the board. As someone who had previously worked in the corporate world, he did not appreciate the fact that other members of the board, and the community as a whole, would look to me for leadership before him. Additionally, if I resigned, he would remain on the board as President for an additional two years.

I listened relatively quietly in an effort to resist being defensive. I tried simply to listen openly and honestly. I wanted to act on what he said, rather than react to it. After meeting individually with other members of the board, evaluating their responses and formulating my own, I responded to him in a letter that addressed some of the issues he presented and informed him that I would not be resigning from my position.

After that our relationship actually flourished and he showed a greater level of respect for me. He was the one who nominated me for President when the elections took place at the end of the year.

So What: As I reflected on the situation at the time I recognized that our differences stemmed from the fact that we were different types of leaders however I didn’t have the knowledge to articulate those differences. I reviewed the 16 personality types and would categorize him as ESTP. He tended to focus on the items that needed resolution in the present rather than the future. Additionally, he did not follow the rules of order and procedure within the board; rather he would venture off on his own agenda.

When comparing our two personality styles, there were stark differences in the way we process information and ultimately the way that we lead. Neither of us was right or wrong, our downfall was that we misunderstood of each other.

Now What: I am sure that I will encounter similar situations in the future as most everyone has a different personality type. The key is to recognize the different strengths of each type and embrace them as well as empower them to lead in their strengths.

If I were to have the opportunity to go back and redo this situation, I would definitely do some things differently. Throughout our shared time on the board I recognized some of our differences and tried to work around them rather than confronting him directly and trying to work WITH him. Given the opportunity again, I would rather meet with him individually and discuss how we could work together to be an effective team.

With the knowledge of the personality types I feel more grounded in my own leadership qualities and more empowered to identify strengths in others and to encourage them to use them more effectively.